Divorce

My husband and I received word today that an old friend of ours had recently gotten a divorce. Our contact with him has been sparse, especially over the last few years. However, every time we had talked to him in the recent past, trouble was always brewing. Not about his marriage, at least not specifically, but we suspected things might have been a little difficult in that arena as well. Neither of us were entirely surprised to hear the news today, but we are saddened. Our friend has gone from living in a large house, with his wife and two children, to a tiny one bedroom apartment. The highlight of his day today was that he was going to make a steak for his dinner. It all just seems so empty, so forlorn. As we talked about the situation over dinner, my husband and I both visibly shuddered over the thought of being separated from our children because of custody battles and arrangements. I always hear statistics about the ever-increasing divorce rate, but when it happens to a friend, it makes it a reality. Anyway, the two of us have finished the day thankful. Thankful for each other, thankful for our commitment to one another, and thankful that we are accountable more than to just each other and our children, but because of our faith, to God.

Putting It Nicely

A little over a week ago, my eldest participated in a local homeschool co-op's standardized testing. As part of the deal, I had to volunteer my services as a classroom helper throughout the three days that we tested. Homeschoolers are unique in that, they are not used to sitting still, and many often don't sit at desks or tables to do their work at home, so this rigid experience tests them (literally and figuratively). I was a helper for the third grade class. The person that adminstered the test in our room was very good (maybe too good) about letting the kids get their wiggles out between test sections, and she allowed them to dilly dally at our scheduled break times. Unfortunately, our grade level had more sections to test than the others, so this extra "wiggle time" put us even further behind the other classes when it came to wrapping up each day. This mattered to me since my eldest was waiting on me everyday, some days a half an hour or more, so I was inclined to try to keep us on schedule, and plow ahead. I was the one dragging the kids back into the room at the end of break time, and encouraging them to hang in there for one more section so we could "be done". I could tell that this was not an important mission for the test administrator. She was VERY relaxed. On the last day, when we were finally done, she thanked each of the kids for their perserverance and patience, and then she thanked me for helping to keep everyone on task and keeping an eye on the time. The way she said it, actually sounded more like, "Clearly, you are anal retentive, but thanks for helping anyway". Oh well, at least she put the words nicely. Besides, what kind of world would this be if there were no anal retentive people to keep us all on task?

A Bruise By Any Other Name

Last night my youngest came to me for sympathy. Whimpering my child pointed down, and I surveyed a series of small bruises on my little one's legs, mostly around the knee area. It didn't completely surprise me, because my youngest plays hard and falls hard. I said, "It looks like you have some bruises there, huh?" Indignant, my youngest said, "They aren't bruises! These are my polka dots!" Indeed, they did look like tiny "brownish" polka dots. I said, "I stand corrected. You have lovely polka dots on your legs!"This made my youngest pleased as punch, and off my little one went to, I can only assume, find ways to create more polka dots.

Not Quite Princess Material

I love watching my children play, most notably when they are using their imaginations. The other day we were visiting with friends, and there were three little boys and two girls in total. They decided to re-enact the story of Sleeping Beauty. The three year old boy present declared that he would be playing the part of Sleeping Beauty and promptly laid down as if in a deep sleep. My eldest, is a play by the rules sort of child, and a three year old boy, did not Sleeping Beauty make. Chagrined by this turn of events I hear my eldest announce, "That's fine, you can be Sleeping Beauty, but nobody is going to be kissing you. You are just going to have to stay dead!"

Disney Disappointment

If you know me, you know that I love most things Disney. However, last night, I was not enchanted with Disney to say the least. This week has been a big week for my eldest...the first time taking a standardized test (which means getting up way earlier than normal and working in an environment that isn't familiar, for several hours at a time) and then there was the first official piano lesson (which means battling shyness and being able to play the piano in front of someone new). My child has been a trooper, a great sport, and has tackled these new experiences with enthusiasm. I have been proud. My eldest has been saving up for a special item from the Disney store, for quite awhile. The item cost $50.00, and last night I thought would be a great time to go get said item. We walked into the store, my eldest clutched the wad of $50 tightly, and the store worker bee greeted us and asked what we came for, I told the worker bee the item, and she said,"Sorry, you're out of luck. Those have been sold out for several weeks." Instantly, my eldest's eyes began to fill with tears. I leaned down and said, "Mommy will take you home and I will see if I can order it online for you. O.K.?" Worker bee inserts, "You can't get it online either. It's sold out. You are just out of luck." I glared at the woman, could she not see my child was already emotional? Why didn't she just announce, "Hey kid, while I am dashing your dreams, I should tell you there isn't any Santa Claus either!" Unfortunately, her prediction proved true, for the most part. Disney doesn't have the item online anymore, ebay does, at an inflated rate...I can now pay $80 for something that was originally $50 or I can try and contact a store at Disney World, and see if I can purchase it over the phone and have them ship it to me. However, that would be just as expensive I am sure as ebay, if not more. We are bummed, and I haven't figured out what exactly my next move is going to be....let my child know that occasionally there are disappointments in life, or spring for the rest and purchase it as a surprise. Such a quandry. But Disney definitely receives a thumbs down from me regarding this.

The Horror!

Tonight, I showered my kids before bed. My eldest was chagrined. "I have to take a shower again?" I laughed off the question that sounded more like a complaint, and said, "You have to be showered or bathed every other day. That is not asking too much. When you grow up you will most likely shower everyday like daddy and I do." To which my eldest groaned, "Everyday! You mean you shower Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, AND Saturday?" Frankly, I must admit a little surprise that this habit of mine had escaped notice for so long. Instead, I just answered, "Most generally, yes, and one day you will too." My eldest stomped into the bathroom muttering something inaudible to me. Who had any idea that a little soap and water would elicit such a negative response? If the idea of showering everyday is this much of a shock, I can only imagine what kind of horrified reactions puberty will evoke.

A Priceless Observation

Today we returned home from visiting my in-laws out of state. Part of the reason for our visit was to celebrate my mother-in-law's birthday, and the other part was to visit with my husband's aunt and uncle, since we hadn't seen them in close to five years. We hadn't been home long when my eldest declared, "Wow! I just can't believe that Grandma is sixty-five years old already!" Amused, I asked, "Why can't you believe that?" To which my eldest responded, in complete seriousness, "Because mom, she doesn't look any older than sixty-four."

Dental Drama

This morning I had a dental appointment. I am not sure why, but six months ago I thought a 7:00 a.m. appointment was a great idea. Anyone that knows me, KNOWS that I am NOT a morning person. Initially, I thought it would be smart to get it out of the way for the day, but this morning when my alarm went off I cursed my ill-placed desire to be efficient. When I got to my appointment my hygienist was all of five feet tall which meant as she lowered the chair I felt like my head was practically touching the floor. The incline was steep enough that it actually hurt my back. I made a note to myself to next time ask for a taller hygienist. Luckily, my hygienist did not decide to enter the field of therapy, because she started off asking me about possible vacation plans this summer, and I said we didn't have any, so she began talking about cruises. As she rambled during my cleaning her talk of cruises somehow involved into her talking about human trafficking and kidnapping. Since her hands were in my mouth, I had no way to tell her to just stop talking, but seriously, it was one of the last things I wanted to hear about at 7:00 in the morning. After this experience, I firmly believe it should be a rule, that there should be no talking during the first appointments of the morning.

June is Booked

So, I am saying it right now, if you think you might need or want any favors, commitments, visits, or worthwhile interactions with me, just forget the month of June. It would be slightly possible to schedule more during that month, at the sheer expense of my sanity, but since I am merely hanging on by a thread these days, let's just agree that my blog reading buddies will spare me from any additional pressure that month. Between thinking about everything I have to do during June, and other external pressures, I am suffering from insomnia again. My husband profoundly said, "You really need to go to sleep before 2:00 a.m." Gee, ya think? I went to bed last night, crawled out of bed to play solitaire for a bit, crawled back in bed, and still laid there awake. The clock was creeping closer to 3:00 when I finally fell asleep. Amazingly, I didn't sleep super late this morning, and I have been dragging all afternoon (no huge surprise), but I thought the reward would be easy sleeping tonight. Unfortunately, I am feeling more antsy and unsettled the closer it gets to going to bed. So to save me some more sleepless nights, if you aren't on my calendar for June, don't ask to be...I hate trying to think of ways to kindly reject people, and it will just keep me wide awake at night imagining acceptable excuses and scenarios.

The Cowardly Lion?

I admit it. I like to maintain the status quo. For the most part I make a lot of decisions out of habit or simply out of comfort. I don't like to rock the boat if it isn't really needed. However, there is that part of me that yearns to do something crazy (and by crazy for me I mean something like trying water skiing again, not getting a tattoo or anything). If you saw my one and only attempt at water skiing you would agree that trying it again is definitely a crazy notion for me. But I just feel like I want to do something exciting, something different, something not every one expects me to do. I am routine focused though, because I find comfort in routines. When I go to my Bible Study on Tuesdays I try to sit in the same exact seat each week. It really throws me off when I walk in the room and the leader has switched up the seating configuration or someone has "stolen" my seat. I try to act like it doesn't bother me, but I always feel oddly unsettled for the first several minutes until I get into the meat of the study. That is just the way I have been wired. It is hard to break out of the mold. Lately, I have been trying to get into a new mindset. I feel like our family may be embarking on a change of routine in the near future. I am not against the probable changes, however, there is that slight fear factor of things simply being different. The unknown. Yet, I don't want to miss out on great opportunities, just because I am comfortable with the way things are currently. I see people around me doing that kind of thing, and it makes me crazy seeing them blow opportunities to do something new, but positive for them, and I don't want to be like that. Anyway, I think the new thing I will be praying for in my life is courage. The courage to change. I have given up praying for patience. God just keeps testing me in that area (which I hate), and then I just keep failing (which I also hate). I figure patience is just going to have to be one of those elusive character qualities for me. But, very much like the cowardly lion I am now approaching the great and powerful One to ask for bravery. Hopefully, I will be more successful at attaining that, and quickly too...since I lack patience.

Blog Block

I am suffering from a case of blog block. The last few nights I have sat down at my computer to write, and instead of producing anything, I just stare blankly at the screen. It isn't that there hasn't been stuff going on in my life, too much really, but a lot of it isn't really what I consider to be blog material. Suffice it to say, things have been a little chaotic and stressful. I am hoping that a few days of stress detoxification will eliminate my blog block problem. Things are calming down now, or at least they seem to be, so we will see. Just try and bear with me during these barren days, the blog will return...I hope.