If I Only Had A Brain

I am a firm believer in not unnecessarily ticking off people that either handle my food, my body, or my money (my husband excluded). It just seems like a good rule to live by.  My husband on the other hand, apparently likes to tempt fate, or really enjoys living on the edge. Me? I prefer to view the edge from a safe distance away, with some sort of barrier between me and the edge.  For example, my husband used to grade his phlebotomists.  After they would draw his blood, he would rate them from an A to an F.  Frequently, he had the same phlebotomist, so to me, this seemed like a dangerous game to play.  In other words, if you aren't going to give the person an A, just keep your mouth shut, and hope you don't have them again. But give them a C, and risk having them again, and it seems as though the phlebotomist has just cause to show him what an F might feel like.

Today, we went out to lunch after church. The hubby was taking pictures of the kids at the table with his phone, when our waitress arrived at the table.  She immediately said, "No pictures of me!" with a little laugh.  So, what does my husband do? He pretends to take her picture, and then tells her that she broke the camera.  Seriously?  I glared at him, and about pushed him out of our booth.  I was genuinely horrified. He copped to just kidding, but in my opinion, he was just begging for a booger burger or a spit sandwich.  And quite honestly, I wanted to save myself and our children from that fate.  He had made his own bed, he was going to have to lay in it alone, but for pity's sake, what kind of person says something like that to a perfect stranger? Most of the time I consider my man to be ridiculously smart, but when it comes to common sense, sometimes the little nuances of what is acceptable in real life truly escape him. I try to lead him down the right path, but apparently, despite my best efforts, that little bit of "man stupid" sneaks out at the most inopportune times. Thankfully, our waitress was gracious, or seemed to be, and my husband tipped her well in the end, as he should.

I just wish my husband had a better grasp of what he should censor and what he should share, because at times that line is very murky for him.