Maybe I Could Pass For A Teenager?

It has finally happened, I am going through puberty. In my thirties, I have had to resort to seeing a dermatologist for acne. Thankfully, it isn't on my face, at least not most of it, but I have NEVER had acne like this. 4 weeks ago, I went for my first visit, I came home armed with a topical treatment and an oral treatment, and I was sure my acne would disappear within days. Instead, the first medicine made me feel sick, and my acne got worse. So, I went back today...two weeks earlier than I was originally supposed too. I am now supplied with a new oral antibiotic, a new topical treatment, and I am supposed to do this for the next six weeks. This was the interim plan, to lead up to the big guns. Accutane. When the dermatologist first started talking about Accutane it was like a dream come true. 5 months of use, and there would be a 90% chance of NEVER having acne again. Then came the list of side effects. Dry skin, whatever, I can live with that. Dry lips, I really should use lip balm more often anyway. Could possibly raise my triglycerides, I have great cholesterol counts thus far. Not planning on having more children? Nope. Not a problem. Except after answering that question, I then had two fairly lengthy forms plopped into my lap to initial in at least twenty different places promising that I would not get pregnant. I have to agree to take an oral birth control, and in addition I would agree to using another method of birth control simultaneously. I would under no circumstances give blood while using Accutane because if a pregnant woman was given my blood it could cause serious birth defects in her child. I would agree to blood tests every 30 days to ensure that I was not pregnant. It also mentioned significant issues with depression, from mood swings to suicidal thoughts. If I experienced any of these symptoms I must notify the doctor immediately. If anyone in my family history was predisposed to depressive behavior I must notify my doctor. Disconcerting. Seriously, is getting rid of acne this important? Then I was given a manual, yes, an entire manual on said drug. As if that were not enough, I then had to be entered into a national registry, and wait 30 days before being allowed to take Accutane. After the thirty days and at least two negative pregnancy tests, I have to log into some magical website, and answer a list of questions prior to picking up my prescription. The pharmacy would then be notified that I had completed this, and would then release the drug to me. So, you can imagine by the time I reached this point in the process the idea of Accutane has lost the majority of its appeal. In fact by the time I arrived home the crap was officially scared out of me. To be completely honest, I don't think I am going to pursue the Accutane route in six weeks. If this interim step doesn't do the trick, I guess I will have to figure something else out. Anything that requires this much red tape really does become a concern.