Soccer Challenged

Well all good things must come to an end, or perhaps I should say mediocre things.  Tonight marks the end of this year's soccer season.  I love my little pea, and I will watch her play anywhere at anytime and apparently in any weather, since it has been less than stellar weather on several occasions.  But I also have to admit my relief that the season is over.  The main reason, aside from the lousy weather, is the team, well....clearly they were a recreational league team.  Only in it for the fun, or because their parents made them play soccer, but definitely not for the winning or even really learning the game. In fact there were moments (or every game), when it seemed our team was more of a special needs team, though none of the players actually seemed to be challenged in any way, except regarding coordination and attention span.

My own child resembled a newborn colt, long of limbs and falling on the ground almost as much as she was up running.  If I had a dollar for every time the ball rolled between those lean legs, or for each time she kicked the air over the ball, I could pay for next year's soccer season right now.  Then there was the little girl, that was anti-running, anti-kicking, and anti-engaging in anything soccer related.  She normally spent most of the game staring at the ground trying to determine which patch of grass would be the most fun to pull out of the ground and then throw into the air.  Pull, throw, repeat, pull, throw, repeat.  For all I know she was eating it too.  She really liked the grass, and picking her nose. The Mr. Oblivious award, goes to one little curly haired boy, that was ultra fascinated with the string in his soccer shorts.  Did you know that you could pull the string out far enough that it can wrap around a five year old's head, and still be in the shorts at the same time?  Yeah, I didn't either until I saw him do it.  Eventually, the entire string was removed from his pants, and he began waving it around in the air.  He didn't discard it onto the field until everyone was screaming at him to go after the ball, at which point a coach had to retrieve it and carry it around for the remainder of the game. Nine times out of ten when this kid was goalie, he was looking out the back of the net to see what was going on at the other fields. Next we had Mr. Hands.  He couldn't keep his hands off the ball to save his life, no matter how many times the coach reminded him.  Whenever he wanted to kick it a specific direction he bent down to stop it so he would have a better chance of the ball going where he wanted it too.  They don't call too many fouls in Kindergarten soccer, but on occasion they let the other team have the ball when he did that, which was never something our team could afford to have happen. Almost every kid became Spiderman when he or she was goalie.  I mean really, what else is the net for, but tangling yourself into it?  At least that was the case for our team, which would explain why we usually got destroyed, goalies from the other teams actually watched for the ball.  Crazy, I know. We even had opponents that stopped trying to score on us, and began using the "game" as teaching technique time.  And we still couldn't win. During most games you could be assured that the girls, and some boys, were improving their social skills, as well. " I like your shirt, I like your hair, can you jump as high as me?  Want to try cartwheels? Who can find the longest blade of grass?!" etc.   Really if I had to guess, most kids are only there for the snacks that they get at the end of each game. Nothing like a good snack and a juice box.

So, as you see, I am not sad that we are done.  I will not thwart my child if she decides to play again in the fall, but I am really hoping if she does, that the team will be slightly less dysfunctional.